And This Too Shall Pass

I try very hard to keep a smile on my face each day. My daughter who helps me as much as she can always tells me "we're gonna be okay mommy, we always are". My heart smiles when my grandson who is a senior in High School and on the Honor Roll says to me "I'm proud of you mommy for fighting for what is right". He's been calling me mommy for as long as I can remember. Never in a million years did I think I'd find myself in the position I am now in. Unable to go to work, living off of disability and now tasked with finding a new place to live, and affordable place for someone in my situation.

We take for granted working, the excellent coverage we receive from our employers and all the other perks that go along with being employed. Until the day it's all snatched from beneath you due to know fault of your own. Be grateful for your jobs, no matter how meaningful others may think it is. I often tell my daughter "Can't know one tell your story better then you". So here I am telling mine.

I'm angry, at times I feel like I have absolutely NO more fight in me, but I look at my daughter and grandson and know I must keep pushing forward. I try not to allow the actions of others change me. Although it's hard at times. For some reason I always think that people will do the right thing, I guess I think this way because that's how I am. Always looking for the good in people. 

It takes me sometime to write in my blog, I'm unable to sit for long periods of time, however it feels like therapy, me writing. I guess we all need an outlet. Maybe I could advocate for people like me? I often think to myself. People that don't know their rights or are not familiar with the landlord tenant laws. Surely I was not aware of all of my rights. And most people won't advocate for themselves they're to afraid of what the slumlord may do knowing that's the only place they can afford. I'm not sure what the future holds for me at this point. I fall a lot, my foot swells if I'm on it to long, yes I say again I'm angry but not yet defeated.

My credit has taken a horrible hit behind this three and a half year fight. My savings gone! Just trying to live day to day is a struggle. And lord knows I miss my Blue Cross Blue Shield. When you've worked all your life and something like this happens to you, you feel helpless and it seems as if know one cares. I can't live in what happened yesterday, I can only try and move forward I'm simply thankful that I didn't go completely through the porch fore I would probably be dead.

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