My New Normal....

It's amazing how thing's play out sometime's. One minute your riding high, paying your bill's taking care of your family, helping other's that need a little help. And in a instant you suddenly feel as if you've become a burden to your friends and family. It's crazy how you can switch sides not because you want to but because unforeseen circumstances force you to.

Six months after being out of work my medical coverage was taken away from me. My employer offered me Cobra inurance but really, who can afford that on short/long term disability? Therapy on the regular basis, doctor visits constantly, falling due to sharp pains in my leg. I'd use my hands to brace my fall most times if I found myself falling forwad, but when I fell backwards I was and still am at the mercy of this injury. Doing this caused me to lose my front tooth when I fell trying to walk up the stairs. With absolutely no medical nor dental coverge I had to go to another state to get my tooth fixed. I fell backwards a few times which lead to me having surgery on my right wrist due to a torn "TFCC".

It's rare that I leave the house, yet this house is a constant reminder of what happened to me. The pain is ongoing, the sleepless nights are never ending. I'm unable to walk for long periods, sit for long periods, at times I feel as If I'm just sitting here waiting to die. It took my lawyers over a year to find the owner of the properties insurance company due to the owner and property manager being extremly uncoopertive. It's hard for me to get up and down the stairs so I have to rely on my daughter. This upsets me she is young and should be living her life, yet she's trying to care for me her 52 year old mother. Never in my wildest dreams did I see this coming. Can't afford to move, can't buy food nor the simple neccessities of life, this doesn't happen to me, this happens to other people. The fighter in me is slowly being picked away and I feel helpless to stop it. It's hard going from working everyday and loving what you do to looking at that BMW you once drove knowing you now can't afford the maintenace and the payments any longer. What a scary dose of reality. You work all your life, raise your kids and you suddenly wake up as this person in need of help and can't get help nowhere.

I've been diagnosed with permanent nerve damage and what's called Drop foot. My left foot and leg constantly swells If I'm on it to long, at times I'm unable to bend my toes. My doctor had a brace made for me but most times I'm unable to wear it due to the swelling. The brace is made of a hard plastic and goes from the inside my shoe up to my knee, but with the swelling I can't use it. the day's of manicures and pedicures are pretty much long gone. It's crazy what can happen to a tenant and not a soul be held accountable...….

Pain medication is not an option for me. The most I will take is Ibuprofen. I'm angry and most don't understand. It's like they say when the music stops and the smoke clears the only person in the world you can count on is you. But how do you count on you when you can barely get around.